The Story of Julia May Lokie
In 2003, my husband Mike and I decided to start a family. 2 years had past and we still had no luck, so we decided to consult our doctor. Preliminary tests showed that we were both able to conceive, so they wanted to put me on a fertility drug called Clomid. The doctor told me I should have an ultrasound prior to taking the fertility medicine. The test showed that I had a cyst on my ovary that needed to be removed before I could start the Clomid. So on January 19, 2005 I had surgery to drain the cyst. They also removed scar tissue that I had due to Endometriosis. I felt good knowing that these issues were resolved and that we could start trying again once I had healed.
A month after my surgery, I realized that my cycle had not returned. Blood work was completed and it turned out I was pregnant! This was a complete surprise since they checked my urine right before the surgery, and I was not pregnant. The doctor told us that during my surgery she did see a block in my right tube, but that she left it alone. Later, after finding out that I was pregnant, she believed the blockage in the tube was the start of our little miracle. We unknowingly had conceived just before the surgery, but it was too early to show up.
We were concerned that I might lose the baby due to fact that I was pregnant during the surgery and had taken pain medicine. But our little miracle kept growing and growing and our pregnancy was worry free. We found out we were having a girl and we named her Julia May. On August 20, 2005, I had my baby shower. We received so many wonderful gifts and were so excited as the birth approached. My due date was October 5th 2005. My husband and I began to set up the baby swing and pack-n-play to prepare for Julia. We were only 6 weeks away from our due date and wanted to be prepared for anything. We had just finished our birthing classes and pre-registered at Aultman Hospital for our delivery.
But on August 24th everything was put on hold. I woke up that morning and realized that Julia wasn’t moving. I went to work thinking that she was just sleepy and didn’t have much room to move anymore. But at lunch I called my doctor and they told me to go right to the hospital. It was then that my husband and I were told that Julia had died. They said it probably occurred during the night. We were in complete shock. We stayed at the hospital and they began to induce my labor that evening. The next day at 11:30 am, August 25th, our daughter was born. She was beautiful with thick dark hair, delicate fingers and a dimple in her nose. She weighed 5 lbs, 4 ounces and was 19 ¾ inches long. We were able to hold her and take pictures and just tried to remember as much as we could about her.
Leaving the hospital without our baby was extremely hard. A few days later we had a graveside service and laid our daughter to rest. The whole event was surreal. We couldn’t believe that in one week’s time we had a baby and then buried a baby. Our world was turned upside down. We were very depressed and lost for a long time. Our days were full of pain and confusion. Very few people understood what we were going through and no one knew what to say or how to act around us. My doctor ran blood work on me and found out that I had MTHFR blood clotting disorder. I was told that this is probably what caused my daughter’s death. There was no way to have known that I had this disorder.
The holidays were difficult as we felt this huge void in our life. We were supposed to be celebrating Julia’s 1st Christmas, not dealing with the fact that she had been gone for 4 months. We hoped that 2006 would be a better year, but we still carried our pain around with us. A friend had told us about a support group called God’s Tiny Angels. We finally had the strength to reach out to others and went to our first meeting in the spring. Through the group, we met life long friends and found great support. We participated in the 2006 Walk for the Angels Walk-a-Thon. We were able to celebrate and remember our daughter, and all the other babies that went to heaven too soon.
Shortly after the walk, we found out that God blessed us with another chance at having a baby. We did not use any fertility, so we were surprised it happened. Things started out good, but towards the end of my first trimester, I had a blood clot and placenta previa. I also had to give myself shots of Heparin, a blood thinner, due to my clotting disorder. I was put on bed rest for a few months and was off work. Both issues finally resolved themselves and I went back to work part-time. I had a few scares along the way, but the baby was doing fine. I continued to do my shots and prayed they would protect me and the baby. It was a long, rough road but on June 12, 2007 our son, Quinn Michael, was born alive and well. He was 6 lbs, 10 ounces and 20 inches long. We were overwhelmed with the joy of being parents.
We loved our son more than life itself, but we would always wonder what it would have been like to raise our daughter Julia.
At the end of 2008, I found out I was pregnant again. Unfortunately, after 8 weeks I had a miscarriage. It was much easier for me to handle this type of loss, considering all that I had already been through. However, it was still another baby that I would never get to raise.
In 2009, I found out that I was pregnant again. We were so surprised that I was able to get pregnant so many times without the use of any fertility drugs, considering how long it took me to get pregnant the first time. It appeared that my HCG levels were not increasing as they should, so I was given shots of Progesterone to help keep the pregnancy. Unfortunately, this was not enough and I again had another miscarriage at 8 weeks.
Mike and I decided to just be happy with our son, Quinn, and stopped trying to get pregnant anymore. Quinn was a wonderful child and we embraced every moment with him. In 2011, he turned 4 years old. I still always wanted him to have a sibling, but it just didn’t seem that it was meant to be.
Later that year, I had some pain on my ovary and ended up having another Laparoscopy. The doctor told me that I had Stage 3 Endometriosis, which meant that it was all over my uterus and one ovary. He said if we ever wanted to try again to get pregnant, now would be the time, since it would grow back in about 6 months. Mike and I decided to give it one last try and two months later we conceived our daughter, Elliana Marie. She was born April 23, 2012. We were overjoyed with having a daughter. She was 7 lbs, 19 inches and had thick dark hair. She reminded us so much of Julia.
I am so thankful for the 2 children I have on earth, and 3 that I will someday meet in heaven. This journey has changed my life forever. But I feel that God has been with me every step of the way. I am now the President of God’s Tiny Angels and enjoy being able to help others heal and remember their lost babies. I hope that I am an inspiration to others to not give up and always trust in God.
January 2014-Mike and I were recently asked to share our story about Julia with our church as part of our pastor’s sermon series “Through the Fire”.
See the link below to view the interview…